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Tuesday, 25 January 2011

How Moses got the 10 Commandments



 
God went to the Arabs and said,
"I have Commandments for you that will make your lives better."

The Arabs asked, "What are Commandments?"
And the Lord said, "They are rules for living."

"Can you give us an example?"

"Thou shall not kill."

"Not kill? We're not interested."


 
So He went to the Blacks and said, "I have Commandments."

The Blacks wanted an example, and the Lord said,
"Honor thy Father and Mother."

"Father? We don't know who our fathers are. We're not interested."

Then He went to the Mexicans and said,
"I have Commandments."

The Mexicans also wanted an example, and the Lord said "Thou shall not steal."

"Not steal? We're not interested."

Then He went to the French and said,
"I have Commandments."

The French too wanted an example and the Lord said, "Thou shall not commit adultery."

"Not commit adultery? We're not interested."

Finally, He went to the Jews and said,
"I have Commandments."

"Commandments?" They said, "How much are they?"

"They're free."

"We'll take 10."


There that should offend just about everybody.

27 comments:

  1. Its humour but apparently you don't understand stereotypes, they are bread are butter for comedians.

    I suspect you fit into none of the categories mentioned and it is just your sanctimonious superiority and self righteous coming through.

    And please refrain from calling me names when you know nothing about my ethnic background.

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  2. The joke is racist.

    It panders to racial stereotypes.

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  3. Hmm...
    I'm not sure you can be racist if your intention was to offend everybody.

    But it seems to have passed the test from that very racist organisation the BBC.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/mbreligion/NF2213235?thread=5053474

    No doubt you, being the self appointed media censor for the world wide web, will now go and complain to them about a joke that has been on their site for 3 years.

    You are of course entitled to your opinion, which I respectfully reject as a load of nonsense.

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  4. The joke is racist.

    It panders to racial stereotypes.

    The fact that it panders to multiple racial stereotypes does not stop it being racist.

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  5. "No doubt you, being the self appointed media censor for the world wide web, will now go and complain to them about a joke that has been on their site for 3 years."

    Sure thing.

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  6. Interesting;

    "jokes based on national stereotyping were part of British national humour."

    "the comments may have been "rude" and "mischievous," but there was no "vindictiveness" behind them."

    "Our own comedians make jokes about the British being terrible cooks and terrible romantics, and we in turn make jokes about the Italians being disorganised and over dramatic, the French being arrogant and the Germans being over-organised,"

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-latin-america-12361790

    I suspect you must be one of the complainers since I never said anything nearly as severe about Mexicans in my joke as Top Gear.

    I'm also worried that my posts are not as edgy as I hoped if I'm so easily outdone by the Politically Correct riddled BBC.

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  7. A chinaman has been shot with a starting pistol. Police are treating it as a race matter.

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  8. Funny and definitely racist ;-)

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  9. "A chinaman has been shot with a starting pistol. Police are treating it as a race matter."

    Funny, yes.

    Racist, no.

    The fact that the subject of the joke is a "chinaman" is immaterial since the joke does not rely on racist stereotypes as yours did Lazarus. You could substitute any ethnic group for "chinaman" in the joke since it doesn't depend on any prejudiced, preconceived ideas about negative characteristics attributed to a particular race or people.

    Unlike your joke which relies on a number of prejudiced, preconceived ideas about negative characteristics attributed to a particular races and peoples.

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  10. If there was ever proof that gods did not exist it is because none would ever make someone as humourless as you.

    Race-ist! Get it?

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  11. "Race-ist! Get it?"

    So why did you write "racist"?

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  12. Because I'm not used to conversing with someone that needs every syllable of a pun spelling out to them.

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  13. So what you're saying is that you wrote "racist" but meant "race-ist".

    Why did you write "racist" and not "race-ist" if you knew that doing the former could cause confusion but that you could easily clarify what you really meant by using the latter?

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  14. Besides which the joke wasn't even "race-ist". There was nothing anti-race about it.

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  15. I'm not in the habit of explaining humour to the humourless.

    You might not understand it, you might just think it's not funny, you might even be offended by it.

    That is how humour is. No one has any right not to be offended nor to find it funny.

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  16. "No one has any right not to be offended."

    So you accept that it was offensively racist.

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  17. No I said no one has the right not to be offended. Just because some people find something offensive does not make it racist.

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  18. "Just because some people find something offensive does not make it racist."

    That's true.

    The fact that something promotes and propogates negative racial stereotypes (as your "joke" does) does make it racist though.

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  19. No it doesn't. Only people who believe negative racial stereotypes can be racist.

    I'm not xenophobic for telling jokes about daft Irish men. I'm only xenophobic if I believe all Irish are daft and treat them that way.

    If I really believed all black people didn't know who their fathers were or treated them as if it were true - and I've no idea how to do that in any case - that would be racist.

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  20. "people who believe negative racial stereotypes can be racist"

    The propogation of those negative racial stereotypes is also racist behaviour.

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  21. Not exclusively. You have to believe in the them for it to be so. You don't believe then, neither do I.

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  22. "Not exclusively. You have to believe in the them for it to be so. You don't believe then, neither do I."

    No you don't. You just have to propogate the negative racial stereotypes. The propogation of negative racial stereotypes is racist behaviour.

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  23. No it isn't and don't be absurd. Are you telling me that that you believe telling an Irish joke with a negative racial stereotypes is also racist behaviour?

    Do you think all negative stereotypes are not to be the subject of humour? Mother in laws, Council estate residents, Liverpudlians?

    If you actually have a sense of humour and would tell a joke about a stereotype can you explain the fundamental difference between overbearing mother-in-laws, daft Irish men, and thrifty Jews?

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  24. "Are you telling me that that you believe telling an Irish joke with a negative racial stereotypes is also racist behaviour?"

    Yes. I said so here: http://lazarus-on.blogspot.com/2011/01/alliance-of-christians.html?showComment=1296673622140#c6821785631966338364


    "Do you think all negative stereotypes are not to be the subject of humour? Mother in laws, Council estate residents, Liverpudlians?"

    Yes. They are all made with the intention of demeaning other human beings.


    "can you explain the fundamental difference between overbearing mother-in-laws, daft Irish men, and thrifty Jews?"

    Yes, the first one is probably sexist whilst the latter two are racist.

    Happy to help with your education.

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  25. I think the West is becoming overly sensitive. In India we have communal stereotypes and there are constant jokes that we all enjoy at our own expense. There is a reason it's called a joke and not a fact.

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